Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
