batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
