you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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