Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
