During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm really busy with my period
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