nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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