So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
