In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
