Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
