Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
