im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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