I got chris browned last night
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize