Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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