She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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