Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
