I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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