as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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