I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
