Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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