enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
