There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
