yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
