Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize