Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I need a burrito and a hug.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
