Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
