ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
