Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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