Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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