I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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