it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
