Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
