yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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