There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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