I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
