The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
