someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dignity is for republicans.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
