Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
