He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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