i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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