Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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