What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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