dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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