We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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