pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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