I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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