I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
