Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
