she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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