just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
