Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
