Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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