And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You made out with two different species that night
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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