What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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