Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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