I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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