If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
