it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
