Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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