Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he thought i was a dude.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
