Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
