I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
