you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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