Whod you bang
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
