I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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