I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
