I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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