My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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