I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
