You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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