hotel room ftw
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
