Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
