thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
